Our New Normal Page 4

  Chloe’s stomach quivered with anger as she gripped a shirt to maintain composure. She didn’t need to get fired today.

  Though Chloe had braced herself for an onslaught of harassment, Tori turned away and continued to talk while shopping. Chloe sighed with relief. She was sure that Tori would have started hounding her the moment that she noticed her, and she was glad to be wrong. I guess she’s not as much of a bitch when she doesn’t have her friends to back her up.

  A few minutes later, Tori said goodbye to the person on the phone and returned to a rack in the middle of the store. She walked over to the counter with an armful of clothing shortly thereafter, waiting patiently for Chloe to look up.

  Chloe frowned, yet returned her gaze. “May I help you with anything?” she asked dryly, her eyes cold and disinterested.

  Tori nodded bashfully. “Uh, yeah. Could you open a fitting room for me?”

  Chloe glared at her. After what the Frosted Flakes had put her through at lunch, the last thing she wanted to do was take orders from Tori like a servant. Sighing, she grabbed the keys and led Tori to the fitting rooms.

  Tori silently followed, smiling politely at Chloe as she opened one of the doors. “Thank you.”

  Chloe scoffed. “Uh-huh.” She hurried back to the counter, doing her best to avoid the fitting rooms while Tori was back there.

  As Tori modeled her finds in the mirror, she couldn’t help but feel troubled. She felt bad about her friends bothering Chloe at lunch, and Chloe no doubt thought that Tori was included in the incident. Tori didn’t like that Chloe outright hated her; she knew a lot of people in the school didn’t like her because of how she treated them, but those people didn’t matter.

  It then occurred to Tori that, for some reason, Chloe mattered.

  Tori finished trying on her clothes and walked over to Chloe. “I don’t want these,” she stated, handing the clothes to Chloe.

  “You’re not going to throw everything on the floor like you did last time?” Chloe muttered before she could stop herself. Her eyes widened and she pursed her lips, hoping that her manager hadn’t heard her and that Tori wouldn’t complain.

  “No,” Tori replied simply. I don’t want to make you any angrier.

  Chloe hesitated, raising an eyebrow. “Well, thanks,” she murmured hesitantly. Nodding, Tori headed for the shoes as Chloe quickly inspected the fitting rooms for more damage. Noting an orderly area, Chloe shrugged and returned to folding clothes.

  Tori scrunched her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose when a shoe she liked wasn’t in her size. She knew that she’d have to ask Chloe to look in the back for her, and she wanted to avoid bugging her again. She browsed the other racks of shoes to see if she liked any of the shoes that were available in her size, but nothing came close to the pair that she was coveting. Though she didn’t want to bother Chloe—she would no doubt suspect that Tori was trying to boss her around and humiliate her—she didn’t have much choice.

  “Uh, Chloe?” she called sheepishly as she reached the counter.

  Chloe looked up with a start. She didn’t realize that Tori knew her name. “What would you like this time?” she asked impatiently.

  “Um, I’m sorry to bother you again, but could you look to see if you have this shoe in an eight in the back for me?” she looked down at the floor, afraid to see the hatred in Chloe’s eyes.

  Chloe sighed. I’m sure she’s really sorry, just like I’m sure she’s really sorry for what she and her friends did to Tracey last time. She suspected that it was only a matter of time before Tori took advantage of the situation, knowing full well that Chloe didn’t have a choice but to do her bidding. A part of her had hoped that, after what had happened in the cafeteria, Tori would’ve given her a break and left her alone. Apparently, she wasn’t that lucky.

  Chloe had to admit, though, that Tori’s behavior also didn’t exactly match her expectations. She’d anticipated Tori using the opportunity to boss her around, but she had also expected her to go out of her way to humiliate her while doing it. As it was, Tori was timid and seemed almost apologetic for bothering her.

  It has to be an act, Chloe assured herself. There’s no way she actually has feelings, and she sure as hell doesn’t give a shit about me. That was made crystal clear today.

  Chloe grabbed the keys again and snatched the shoe from Tori’s hand. “I’ll be right back,” she said through clenched teeth, trudging into the back. Holding back tears as she dug through shoe boxes in the stock room, she tried to conjure memories of Kristen to prevent her from thinking about the laugh that Tori must be having at her expense. I’m sure she’ll call her friends right away to tell them how she bossed me around yet again.

  Despite what Chloe imagined, Tori was not enjoying this; she actually wanted nothing more than to run out of the store and never walk past it again. At the same time, though, she wasn’t one to be told where to go or what to do. I haven’t done anything wrong—at least not this time, Tori thought as she convinced herself to stay. Besides, I adore those shoes.

  As Tori waited for Chloe to return from the back, her stomach started to churn with worry over what Chloe thought of her. She couldn’t explain the concern that she felt whenever she saw Chloe. Usually, Tori had no issues brushing aside disapproving glares, but she couldn’t shake the desire to have Chloe’s approval—and it got stronger every day. There was just something about Chloe’s eyes that made Tori’s insecurities bubble to the surface. They made her feel vulnerable, as if Chloe had ripped Tori’s mind open and could see her innermost thoughts. Every time Chloe was near, guilt shook her to the core as she recalled how awful she’d been to Chloe, her friends, and others over the years.

  Chloe finally reappeared from the back and handed Tori the shoebox. Tori quietly thanked her, and Chloe returned the sample shoe to its rightful place while refusing to acknowledge Tori or her fake gratitude. When she turned around, Tori had made her way to a spinning jewelry display which was conveniently a few feet from the counter.

  Chloe sighed as Tori knelt to study a necklace. I need to do something else other than stand at this counter! It’s bad enough she’s made me run into the back for her; now she’s going to stand right next to me just to piss me off! She headed to the front of the store, pretending to check the racks for misplaced items. I really don’t need to get fired today.

  Tori scanned the jewelry and, not seeing anything that she liked, returned to the register. Chloe pretended to ignore her for a few more minutes, and Tori couldn’t help but smirk. She knew that it was Chloe’s way to take back control of the situation, and she admired her strong will—besides, she knew that she’d do the same thing if the tables were turned. She waited patiently, wondering how long Chloe could keep it up before she was forced to help her.

  As if answering her question, Tori heard a female voice call from the back.

  “Chloe! You have someone at the register!”

  Tori surmised that it was Chloe’s manager by her authoritative voice—and by the way that Chloe stopped in her tracks and headed to the counter.

  Chloe refused to look up while ringing her out; she couldn’t bear to see Tori’s smug, victorious smile. The entire day was Tori’s—she’d been humiliated at lunch, and now she’d gotten her reprimanded by her boss. She wished that she could spit on Tori or somehow destroy her new clothing, but instead she begrudgingly handed her the bag.

  “Thank you,” Tori said, her eyes burning into Chloe’s as she tried to get through to her for just a moment. “Just so you know, I don’t agree with what my friends did to you or your friend today, and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” She draped the bag over her arm and rushed out of the store before Chloe could respond.

  Tori made a beeline for her car, throwing her bags in the trunk before sinking into her seat. Her hands were shaking, and tears streamed down her cheeks as she recalled the resentment in Chloe’s eyes every time she’d look at her.

  For the firs
t time in her life, Tori regretted the way she’d treated others. She pictured the anger that she’d feel at work when cleaning up after spoiled teenagers who had moved on after wreaking havoc, and she felt guilty for having acted that way most of her teenage years. Though Tori had never worked a day in her life—she’d gotten her permit when she turned 16, but she hadn’t used it yet—she imagined that having a job and maintaining good grades would be difficult enough without dealing with rude customers.

  She also imagined the embarrassment and shame one must feel when being called out for not having the best clothes. Like most teens, they probably had enough to worry about without Tori shining a spotlight on their flaws in front of their peers. Most of them couldn’t help the way they looked, anyway; it’s not like they could force their parents to get better jobs so that they could buy better clothes.

  Tori had also started becoming more self-aware of her behavior in public speaking. Pretending to be less intelligent than she actually was didn’t feel worthwhile anymore, especially without her friends to encourage it. Every time that she instinctively began to water down her thoughts, she cringed and found it more difficult to maintain.

  Now, she just had to figure out a way to show more of who she was without compromising her popularity.

  Chapter 6

  Tori knocked on Aaron’s bedroom door, arriving at his house at eight as promised.

  “Come on in,” she heard him mutter from inside. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed, reviewing a video of the day’s football practice. She sat on the edge of the bed and let her mind wander while he watched the recording, pretending to be enthusiastic whenever he addressed her.

  “Look at Stephens run!” Aaron exclaimed.

  “That’s great, baby!” Tori said with mock excitement. She rolled her eyes behind his back, drowning out the rest of his shouts and cheers.

  Chloe’s judgmental eyes appeared in her mind again, and Tori chastised herself for being disrespectful to her boyfriend. Aaron was what others might consider a trophy boyfriend; it was customary, after all, for the head cheerleader to date the star quarterback. They were both attractive, so everyone thought that they made a good couple—and Tori never said anything to the contrary. When it came to communication, though, she knew that their relationship was lacking. It was also rare that they participated in activities in which they both shared an interest as they had very little in common. They both participated in high school football, but Tori was more concerned about looking good on the sidelines rather than paying attention to anything that was happening on the field.

  As the video came near to the end, Aaron reached over and gently brushed a few fingers against her knee. After a few more minutes, he turned off the television and sat down on the bed next to her. “So, how are you feeling?” he asked, moving her hair aside to expose her neck and collarbone.

  Tori smiled, hiding the internal conflict that she had been feeling all day. “I’m fine, I guess.” She didn’t bother to elaborate because she knew that he didn’t care. Now that he’d finished watching the recording of practice, all he’d care about would be making out with her—just like every other time she came over. As if confirming her suspicions, he started kissing her neck, and his hand ventured down to her chest.

  As his tongue flicked hers, her mind drifted off as she started taking inventory of recent purchases and the coordinating attire in her existing wardrobe. Her mind then wandered to how much she liked shopping at Trend, even with Chloe acting how she had. She thought about Chloe’s sheer defiance in the store, how she’d avoided her, and how rude she was to her despite the potential consequences. Tori could’ve easily complained to the manager about how she was treated, but she didn’t want to be that petty. If she was honest with herself, she felt like she’d deserved to be treated poorly after what had happened at lunch.

  And her jeans were nice, too, Tori thought to herself. I wonder if she bought them at Trend. They fit her body perfectly, and the gray sweater she was wearing really accentuated her curves…

  Aaron stopped kissing her and looked at her with furrowed brows. “Are you okay?” he asked, delicately touching her face. She’d barely responded to his touch, and she hadn’t been kissing him back. It was as if her mind were someone else.

  Tori smiled, refocusing her thoughts to gaze into his eyes. “Of course I am, silly!” She grabbed him by the back of the head and pressed her lips to his, kissing him passionately.

  Aaron soon forgot his concerns as he pulled her hips to his, allowing her to feel the pressure built up in his jeans. Her arms were covered in goosebumps as he continued to kiss her on her neck, then collarbone, then sternum…

  Tori’s eyes widened. “Stop!” she insisted, her heart beginning to race. “You know the rules!”

  He ignored her, moving lower while kissing her soft skin. “Just let me do this, Tori,” he pleaded, continuing to kiss her as his lips advanced further down her chest. “I guarantee you’ll enjoy every second…” He unbuttoned the top button, his hand reaching into her shirt.

  A wave of panic swept over her. “Aaron!” she yelled, moving away. “I’ve already told you a million times that it isn’t going to happen!”

  He stood up and scowled. “Why not?” he demanded. “We’ve been together for a year, and you still haven’t let me go under your clothes. Why won’t you let me?”

  She sighed. “Because I’m not ready yet, Aaron!” she exclaimed. “When I am ready, trust me, honey, you’ll be the first to know. But until then, you can’t force me to do something I don’t want to do!”

  “I’m sorry, babe,” he sighed, sitting down on the bed next to her. “I don’t want anyone else. I love you. I can wait.” He kissed her forehead.

  She smiled weakly. “Thank you, baby,” she said. “And I want to stay with you, too.” She kissed him gently on the cheek, interlacing her fingers in his and resting her head on his shoulder for a few moments before standing up. “I better head home.” Picking up her bag, she waited for Aaron to walk her out.

  He sighed with defeat but walked her to the door without argument. It wasn’t the first time that this had happened, and he suspected that it wouldn’t be the last. He kissed her at the door and watched her walk to her car, hiding his frustration until she was down the street. It’d be another night of releasing his own tension.

  As he headed back to his room, he realized that she didn’t say she loved him back.

  * * *

  Tori’s stomach churned with worry and guilt as she drove home from Aaron’s. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to hold off forever, and she was running out of excuses.

  In the past few months, Aaron had become more demanding about expanding their physical relationship, and their fights over lack of intimacy had become more frequent. And understandably so, Tori admitted—they’d been together for almost a year, he was one of the most attractive and popular boys in school, he was the star quarterback and a local celebrity, and he had his pick of several girls in the school that would cater to his every whim. She knew that he tried to be patient with her because he loved her and respected her desire to wait until she was ready, though, and she appreciated it.

  But will I ever be ready? Tori thought with a sigh.

  Every time Tori tried to picture having sex with Aaron, she began to panic and felt like she was going to throw up. She didn’t know why; she just couldn’t fathom sleeping with him. Tori attributed her reluctance to first-time jitters and being scared of the pain, but she knew in her gut that that wasn’t the only reason. There was just something about the concept that didn’t appeal to her, and nothing she tried to do made it any better.

  Tori loved him, but she wasn’t sure that it was in the same way that he loved her. She knew that everyone expected them to be together—there was no better pick than Aaron for a boyfriend—but she wanted more than what he had to offer. She wanted someone with whom she could engage in intellectual conversations, someone who was gentle
and attentive to her needs, someone who cared enough about her feelings to ask questions and talk to her about theirs, and someone who wanted to have fun with her outside of a bedroom. She wanted an equal, a person who shared the same interests and was willing to do everything with her, a person that would hold her and make her feel safe—

  And happy. She wanted true happiness.

  Tori frowned as she parked her car in her family’s four-car garage. She enjoyed all of the free time she had, but it sometimes got boring and lonely. That was the main reason that Tori shopped so much; she had plenty of clothes, but she was starved for human interaction. Sometimes hanging out with her cheerleader friends was excruciating as they always talked about the same boring, shallow subjects. At least when Tori went to the mall on her own, she didn’t have to make small talk or pretend not to have opinions on important subjects.

  She unlocked the front door, making a beeline up to her room and shutting the door. Her parents wouldn’t care; they never took the time to talk to her or check up on how she was doing. She was fine with it, though, as she never had anything to say to them. The only real interaction she had with them was on Sundays during church and occasionally before school when they were all awake at the same time. Other than that, she felt like she lived there on her own—except that everything was paid for by her parents, of course.

  Tori changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed. She surrounded herself with a thick, down comforter and held her body pillow, trying to find sleep. Drifting off was difficult, though; her mind was buzzing with the events of the day. It seemed like it was a year ago that she was talking to Sabrina in homeroom on the first day of school and noticing who she later learned to be Chloe.

  Chloe.

  Tori pictured her again in her mind—her annoyed stare in class, her saddened gaze during lunch, her livid glare at Trend. She’d seen so much of Chloe, yet they’d barely spoken to one another outside of squabbles. Tori wanted to change that, though; there was something that drew her to Chloe, a desire to get to know her.